How to Fold a Pyramid Napkin

Hello.

You may be thinking, "Napkin Folding? HAHAHA!!!" or "What the heck?" Yeah, that's why Lawson and I are so desperate to find ideas to post.

JK.

Anyways, napkin folding may come in handy. For instance, when you are older and you are preparing dinner with your fiance, wouldn't you want to make a good impression and show her proper napkin folding? Or when you finally have a high-school job, maybe working in Olive Garden or something, and you wanna prove to your manager that you are a good employee and deserve a raise. Well, I am proud to present a post on how to fold a pyramid napkin.

Let's get things started. (You can practice at home when eating dinner with family. ;D)



1. Unfold the whole napkin and lay it front of you. Like a boss.



2. Fold the napkin in half diagonally. I'm talking about that right, acute angle triangle you come across in math class. Oh yeaaaaah.



3. Rotate the napkin so the open end (the point) faces away from you. I'm talking about that 90 degree angle rotation you practice in math class. I love math class.



4. Fold the right edge and align in with the top edge. It should form a center-line.



5. Repeat step 4, but this time, with the left side. When it's not right, it's left.
See what I did there?



6. Turn the napkin over, keeping the open edge away from you.



7. Next, fold the napkin in half by bringing the farthest point of the diamond to the nearest point.


8. Flip the napkin over, but this time, keeping the open edge facing towards you.



9. Fold the napkin along the center seam and look at your work of art, a nice, half-pyramid napkin fit for all your formal and casual breakfasts, lunches, brunches, and dinners.


ASIAN OCCASION

(Posted by Luke)

----Notice how I did not put "Love, Asian Occasion." It's because it's hardcore when it comes to napkin folding, my friends.----

Deuces.

No Wonder Luke Writes Such Amazing Articles

Love,
Asian Occasion

Why I became a Blogger (Lawson)

Hi,

I wanted to make money. It's hard.

Love,
Asian Occasion

P.S. That's what she said.

Why I Became a Blogger (Luke)

s̄wạs̄dī (Hello in Thai),



Sooner or later, I would tell you WHY I became a blogger, and the benefits and risks of being a blogger. Although my partner, Lawson, and I are struggling to keep up with our pageviews (Trying to get a 100 pageviews everyday) we actually are hanging on a cliff because of our problem of no Google Adsense.

Initially, we were planning to get Adsense to obtain ads, and then place them on the blog. But, Google closed our account and shut down Adsense, ruining hopes of us getting ANY money from this blog.

That's another story. Today, I'm going to teach you why I became a blogger.

WHY I BECAME A BLOGGER

L

IT all started when I was a young boy, maybe 8. I always told myself, "Luke, you're going to be famous." HAHA, no I'm just kidding. I always read books about great entrepreneurs, such as Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you know, those big-time CEO's. You could say I was just a little Asian kid, always day-dreaming in class, but still getting good grades. 

I remember the day I first was inspired to be a CEO of a big company. It all started in 5th Grade, with the Toshiba/NSTA ExploraVision Science contest. Here, we had to create a model of something that would help the world, maybe new designs of underwater gear, a car with less fuel emissions, anything you could think of that would help our world.

I got together with a few Asian friends and we came up with the "Eco-bot" a robot you would place in highly populated cities with large amounts of air pollution. Well, I'll tell you this, it didn't work out so well. We didn't even get an honorable mention. Sigh. I had fun though, and I learned a lot about air pollution. At least I had fun... and learned something. JK, Toshiba was a very exciting experience for all my classmates and teachers because we got to see how we could become GREAT INVENTORS, and prepare for the future.

As I started growing older, I made a website. Yes, I made a website, a Google Site, that is. It was called "Exploding Sharpeners"

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Do you know what that line was for? Yes, I was blocking out any "Wow, that's a stupid name!" or "HAHA, Loser.." comments. Give me a break, I was only in like.. 5th grade. Anyways, I made "Exploding Sharpeners" with a passion. I posted awesome stuff on it and wanted it to become even more popular than Google. 

Luckily, I still kept the website, even though it kinda failed. 


If you want to check it out, here's the link;


Exploding Sharpeners

I know.. it was kind of a dumb name.

After the failure of Exploding Sharpeners, I created a Wix website. Wix is a free, awesome website that allows you to make your own website, however you want it. I deleted the Wix website too, well because.. it also failed.

Now you can see where I'm going. This is actually a post to see how Asians sometimes are not perfect.

Just kidding.

Anyways, a couple years after that, I started getting books and information on how to make an Android application. I can't make an iPhone/iPad/iTouch app because I don't have a Mac,  which you need in order to make an app.

On the other hand, I learned how to make simple applications, like a Hello World/Hello Android app. I'm still kind of learning how to make an awesome app. Maybe, I could even make one for Asian Occasion!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can see where I'm going.

Then, I joined a soccer team and met Lawson, another Asian, like me, who wanted to be a great CEO. We put our heads together and came up with the concept of making a humor website, kind of like break.com, but instead, making one that can relate to youth, especially Asian youth.

AND THAT IS HOW I BECAME A BLOGGER!

Love,

Luke 

Asian Occasion

Partner/Co-founder

cantorwong@gmail.com

425-351-5591

Houses

hoy (what language),

Have you every thought about what kind of house you will live in when you grow up? I know I do; I'm sure most you you do too. When I grow up, I would like to live in a house that is HUGE, like Bill Gates house but BIGGER. My house: Bill Gate's house: your house. That's how rich and beasty I'm going to be. Tell me what kind of house you want.

something like this:

something like this with hundreds of acres: 

something like this:

something like this:

something like this:

something like this: 

or something like this: 

Leave you comment BELOW. 

Love 

Asian Occasion

P.S. We are kind of running out of ideas for our post. If you have something that you would like us to post about, please email us at cantorwong@gmail.com

Shorts #1

It takes real eyes

to realize

real lies.


ASIAN OCCASION
Posted by Luke

(nailed it)

Solve THIS!

Allooooooooo,

Today, I am going to bring you a puzzle to solve? "A puzzle? Ugh.. not school again..." 

Don't worry, this is a puzzle that will get your brain running. These are the types of clever puzzles that upset you and ruin your day but you still want to solve. 

These are also the types of puzzles that you solve when you are lazy and tired and want to get back on your feet and actually COMPLETE something. But enough of reading, try and solve the puzzle.

HINT: IT ISN'T AS HARD AS YOU THINK IT IS.

P.S: IT'S YOUR DECISION TO GOOGLE IT AND CHEAT, BUT IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD FIGURE IT OUT BECAUSE CHEATING IS FOR SLACKERS. AND NO ONE LIKES SLACKERS.

Have you solved it yet? Look below.

YES: It is pretty easy, isn't it? It's so simple.

NO: You are probably stumped and can't figure out anything. But once you solve it, you'll be like "OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

LOVE,

ASIAN OCCASION

LUKE

Top 5 Most Powerful People

Lei hoe, (what language)

This post is like serious. This is legitimate stuff, it's not like Ninger or ham. It's the world's top 5 most powerful people. I think this is one of the most interesting topics. Even if you think you're too cool to care about this stuff, you know you just want to know. You're probably like, "Wow, you are so slow. Hurry up!!! Tell us who the top 5 people are. I'm not interested in this serious talk, I just want to know. Ok, drumroll pleeeeeeease,  (don't cheat by highlighting everything, only highlight in between the dashes, comment how many you get, you will miss the 2nd and 4th)

NUMBER ONE IS: (to find the answer, highlight the space between the dashes) (hint: black)
-Barack Obama-

NUMBER TWO IS: (hint: prime minister, name starts with a "V") -Vladimir Putin-

NUMBER THREE IS: (hint: yellow) -Hu Jintao-

NUMBER FOUR IS: (hint: chancellor) -Angela Merkel-

NUMBER FIVE IS: (hint: this guy went to Lakeside High School in Seattle) -Bill Gates-
YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL?!?!?!?!


Love,

ASIAN OCCASION

Future Concepts

Hello guys,

Today I'm going to bring you a future concept and idea that MAY or may not be helpful for us in the future. I introduce you, the Evacuated Tube Transport.

This fast form of transportation uses airless vacuum tubes that move faster to take you to your destination. Imagine going on a plane trip from Los Angeles to New York.

About 5 hours, if I'm right. Well, this futuristic tube transporter can take you from L.A. to the Big Apple in just 45 min. That's crazy, if you ask me.

This sweet "capsule" is 16 feet long and can carry about 4-6 people, maybe 800-900 pounds capacity. It can reach a maximum speed of 6,000 miles per hour, and you can barely feel a thing.

More information about it is in the video below. Tell me what you think, is this sort of transportation worth it? It may be a low price, but what are the safety issues? If this capsule were to suddenly break and fall from the tubes, then passengers would certainly die. ADVANTAGE or DISADVANTAGE?

Check out et3.com if you want to know the cold hard facts about this awesome form of transportation.

LOVE,

ASIAN OCCASION

posted by luke

Quotes #2

Helro rorld,

Do y'all remember our first Quotes post? If you do, I hope you liked it because we are having another quotes post. This time, it will be different. We will have a kool quote, a kat quote, and a korny kuote.

Kool Quote: "It's very difficult to be great. Losers prove this point continuously." Ron R.

Kat Quote: "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." Winston Churchill

Korny Kuote: "Me without you is like: A sneaker without laces; A geek without braces; Asentencewithoutspaces." Unknown

Love,

Asian Occasion

P.S. If you really love Asian Occasion, please spread the word (the word is our blog). Right now, we are actually only making this so that our fans can enjoy our blog. We really need the support right now. Other than making this for entertainment you y'all, there's really no point for Luke and me to continue this website. Thank You.

Asian Parents 2: Grades

Hello newcomers and members,

Today, as I'm coming to an end of a week of spring break, I would like to talk- should I say discuss, Asian Parents. But this time, grades! I know all of  you Asians out there must keep up with your grades, and you have high expectations from your parents. You get one "B" and you get a lecture. Am I right? Or maybe your parents are so strict that you get an "A-" and you, of course, get another lecture. So, it is safe to say that A stands for Average in terms of Asian grades. Need I say more? Well, check it out in the chart below.

Hmm. Is that familiar to you all Asians? But if  you are a race other than Asian, you may be surprised. You may be even saying "WOW" and you are relieved that YOU do not have an Asian parent.

This is sometimes true in some cases. I know my parents always want me to do the best.

But the real question is, "Is having strict Asian parents good or bad?"

Well, it depends. If you constantly get good grades because of your Asian parents, its good! But if you do not have good grades, and you have strict Asian parents, it may be bad. And if you do not have strict Asian parents and do not have DECENT grades, it is worse.

Sometimes we all need a break. This stereotype SOMETIMES may be true, but to confess, it is tough to constantly get good grades. With all the pressure it is easy to crack. My point is, do your best even if do not have Asian parents. YOU WILL BE REWARDED IN THE END.

On final note, I leave you with two jokes and a phrase.

Joke:
Asian parent: "Why you get B on test? You not C-sian, you not B-sian, you A-SIAN!
Asian parent: "You get stung by a B? WHY NOT GET STUNG BY AN A?

Phrase:
FOB: Fresh Off the Boat
Referring to Asians coming from their home country and fresh off the boat in America. You can have a fresh off the boat accent, culture, whatever you like! e.x. Your parents are so F.O.B.


LOVE,

ASIAN OCCASION

POSTED BY LUKE

thanks for 3000 views btw

History of Chopsticks

A tool or a weapon?

Chopsticks are short tapered sticks of equal length that are used in pairs. They are used as eating utensils of China, Mongolia, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam. Even though chopsticks are used in many Asian countries, it is believed that they were originated in ancient China. The earliest known pair of chopsticks were actually made of bronze! It is said that the first chopsticks were most likely used for cooking, stirring the fire, and serving bits of food; they weren't used as eating utensils. Chopsticks weren't used as eating utensils until the Han and the Ming Dynasty came. So are chopsticks a tool or a weapon. I think it's a tool.

But this is a WEAPON. Especially if it's shoved up your butt.

LOVE, 

ASIAN OCCASION

Asian Representation

Hi guys,

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, I have been really busy with school. The week before spring break is always a very hard school week, with lots of homework, tests and all that fun stuff. But forget that, let's talk about "ASIAN REPRESENTATION." If you don't know what Asian Representation is, it's that proud feeling you get inside you when you see a famous Asian do something extraordinary.


Take Jeremy Lin for example, I know this might be all old news to the Asians out there, but it is a great Asian Representation example! Almost 30 points and about 10 assists every game, getting a buzzer beater, and coming fresh out of Harvard and out of nowhere? That's classical Asian Representation. You have to admit, it takes skill to be on the cover of TIME magazine... for BASKETBALL!

 

Let us take a look at another Asian Representation example. But this time, YouTube. NigaHiga, KevJumba, Wong Fu Productions, and theDOMINICshow. All of them are top YouTube stars.

There is also ASIAN REPRESENTATION UPRISINGS. These are potential Asians on the brink of becoming famous. Let's take a look at Jessica Sanchez, the likely winner of American Idol. She's good awesome vocals and she's Filipino! Like me!

Let us also take a look at Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao. This FILIPINO boxer is also likely to become an ALL TIME GREAT and be just as famous as Muhammad Ali or Sugar Ray Leonard. From winning knock-outs to being winning 8 different championships in 8 different weight divisions, Pacquiao is surely going to become remembered. Manny Pacquiao is also a congressman for the PHILIPPINES and a occasional singer. Boss.

As you can see, ASIAN REPRESENTATION is a GREAT feeling to have. It's always great to have that feeling, because many people think Asians are short, nerds and wimps, but we prove them

WRONG

Love,

ASIAN OCCASION

POSTED BY LUKE

Quotes #1

He...low.

Today, we will be starting a new series of "Quotes." We will be sharing one funny quote, one love quote, and one quote that is just so good, it's...out of this world.

Funny Quote: "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep-not screaming, like the passengers in his car." Unknown

Love Quote: "One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That world is Love." Sophocles

Out of this world Quote: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Neil Armstrong

P.S. Who got the hidden joke? Comment below.  I
                                                                        \I/

Love,
Asian Occasion

HAM

Hello guys,

Have you read the title? Have you heard this short abbreviation that many people use? For instance,

Person 1: Hey what's up man?
Person 2: What up bro, just GOING HAM!

Now if you don't know what going H.A.M. is, here is my definition.

noun 1. H.A.M. - Hard as a motherninger.

Aha! You thought I was going to talk about ham, a cut of meat from the heavy-muscled part of a hog's rear, between its hip and hock. But enough of that.

April FOOLS!

Haha! We got you, we are not starting a fashion line. BUT, (here's the "but") if you would like us to start a fashion line, like you would actually wear the apparels, then we may consider. If you are one of those people that would like us to start a fashion line, tell us by emailing us at cantorwong@gmail.com

With Love,

Asian Occasion

Rumors Released

As you may know, there have been rumors of us doing something very surprising, a new FASHION LINE! We start with t-shirts and sweatshirts.

We will be knitting these shirts. Actually, our Asian grandmothers with boss-like sewing machines that  were passed down from generations to generations are going to help us make the shirts. We are anticipating to sell at least 500 items of clothing on the first day. This is not a scam, THIS IS...Yin Yang. 

To accompany this, we are making shoes! YES THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, shoes! Specifically, we are making basketball, soccer, and casual shoes for all. 

Our first theme of shoes will be superheroes! We are taking requests from all of you guys, all ideas are welcome. Remember, the worst idea is no idea! Please help cheer us on by sending us an email at cantorwong@gmail.com. Thanks for all your support! 

YIN YANG AND CO.

LOVE,

ASIAN OCCASION,

LAWSON AND LUKE